But the big question is, how do I address this matter? My mother smoked when I was in her womb. No, I don’t know how often or how frequently, but my grandmother told me that she’d seen it one time, and well, smoking is like cockroaches: You see one, there are a hundred more you haven’t seen.
I don’t particularly care. It just all makes sense now why my tendon up the left side of my cervical spine came loose when dismounting from a bloody teddy bear stand. (If you’re wondering why I said tendon instead of muscle, it’s because apparently muscle is connected to our skeletons by tendons. I feel so smart knowing that!) I looked it up, by the way: Smoking while pregnant can cause all sorts of ‘artifacts’ to emerge. One being interfering with development; another being musculoskeletal defects… Whatever that means…
I don’t think I’ll ever talk to my GP about it. I don’t even know why I still have a GP. Yea, he did help me get off nicotine with bupropion, but—here’s a little story:
I told him, ‘Hey GP, I have toe fungus on one of my toes! Can you help me out?’ You know what this prick says to me? ‘I don’t see anything.’ I did scrape some of the fungus onto my finger and try to have him smell my finger. Unfortunately, that’s something I don’t think he was too interested in, so he didn’t really lean in to smell.
It’s from football; from playing in the wet most likely. Literally had this fungus on both my big toes since I was like 14, and this guy says ‘I don’t see anything’. Of course, it’s just the right toe now because I was able to cure my left toe with terbinafine cream some years ago. The right toe is still having glorious spore parties on my toenail, to my glee. You want to know how I know? You can fucking smell the bastards when you put your fingernail right to your nose! Sure am glad I never got athlete’s foot though, though that definitely would’ve forced me to deal with this fungus earlier in life. \end story
Here I am going on 34, and we’ve finally solved this mystery! Really, it was nearly a year ago when my grandmother told me, mind you.