Categories
Being

The Relaxation Chamomile

fills me with is something I can hardly thank it enough for.

As I write this, I am almost drifting off to sleep. So much so that I can barely bring myself to remember where to place my hands on this keyboard.

It’s nice.

What isn’t nice is how useless my psychiatrist is.

In our last appointment, he had me list off the supplements I’ve been messing with in hopes of getting me out of bed for more than an average of four hours.

His response? ‘That sounds expensive.’

Not ‘Well, let me explain what Haloperidol does, so that you can make more expedient progress!’ Not ‘These ones: ___ & ___ might aid you!’ Not ‘These ones: ___ & ___ won’t do anything!’

What is the role of a psychiatrist anyway? Give you drugs that take you out of commission into perpetuity—seems to be it, in my experience.

But right now, I’m relaxed, and I’m hoping this relaxation will make laying in bed for hours upon hours more bearable.

When I’m gone, I ask that everyone remember me as ‘The Complainer’.

Categories
Being

I promise this is not a continuation of the Congratulations[S]eries

Walking helps—oh! Before I get into it, this is a continuation of my thoughts on dopamine and haloperidol.

Walking does help, but I’m pretty sure it’s the sunlight that’s doing it.

Taking the recommended L-Tyrosine (on the bottle = 6 capsules), DL-Phenylalanine (1 capsule), B6 (2 capsules) + Rhodiola (not sure why everyone capitalizes the r) doesn’t have the desired effect.

I took the above one week after my last dose of Rhodiola.

For some reason, the hit I get from Rhodiola gets weaker every time I take it.

I wish listening to Studio “Syrup Comfiture” would grant me relief. I wish my psychiatrist were studied enough to tell me why I’m flirting with the answer, but yet still, stands so far away and obscured.

Except for that one, fucking psychiatrists are all the same, but he’s retired now, so good luck with that. I feel like I could’ve definitely relied on him to give me some learned suggestions.