I’m making an appointment with my psychiatrist to get on ADHD medication.
It’s hard to express how put together this stuff makes me feel.
I’m unsure if it’s a certainty, but I may actually be able to quit smoking because of the effect this stuff has on me.
I can play my bass whenever I want – and I mean that.
There is a distinction between ‘feeling like you can’ and ‘wanting to’ when it comes to antipsychotics. This has been my Achilles heel ever since I was put on the hard stuff back in 2021.
I found (eventually in the last six months or so) cigarettes to be so therapeutic. The nicotine gave me the ability to hop on Twitter or be on the computer whenever I wanted – but there was still something eluding me: a calm.
And this calm has been found through ADHD medication that, by all intents and purposes, I bought off the streets.
I can’t fucking believe how put together I feel—how I’ve felt for the past three days!
Just two days ago, I sat down and watched anime for seven hours without needing to smoke! The next day, about as miraculous!
I barely have a craving for cigarettes so much so that it’s the boredom and habit that I struggle. But if I can get on a proper dose, maybe I can come off cigarettes altogether!
Damn it!
I feel like I’m getting my life back since it first fell apart back in 2015!
I mean yea, technically, it had fallen apart back in 2011 too, but I’ve gotten so much of my voice back since then that it doesn’t ring so painfully anymore.
Thank you, vocal exercises!
So what’s the other reason to celebrate?
Well, I’m going for runs again, and I’m becoming more and more comfortable with the idea of building it into a habit.
No one that’s fat wants to be fat.
I’m no exception.
I haven’t wanted to be 280lbs. for as long as I’ve been that weight, but there was nothing I could do about it!
Fucking antipsychotics!
Remember the distinction I spoke of earlier?
Yes, it’s that again; however, to solve that problem—to feel more normal—normal to the point of feeling like I can both feel like I can and can simply want to or not want to but still go—took additional supplements!
Namely, vitamin E of all things.
I now take D, methylated B (B-supreme (comes with choline and TMG), magnesium, E, and C.
And thanks to Dr. John Campbell, I know to take 9,000 IU of D (trust me! You feel like a million bucks!)
I still miss my friend so deeply, but she said she wanted space…
As much of a mindfuck it does on me to think about how I failed her, perhaps we may still talk in the future.
Safe to say, I try to put that as far back in my head as I can.
But yea, apart from that, things are going so well!
I would be remiss to not say I miss her so much, but again, I have to try to do my best… and doing my best is getting on some ADHD medication by way of my psychiatrist.
As much as I don’t like him, I’ll have to try my hardest to bring him the facts. Something I know won’t be easy because of my memory (thanks to fucking antipsychotics), but I have to try!
I’m certain this is the lead I’ve needed all this time!
Now that we have all that out of the way, here is one of the greatest remixes I’ve ever heard:
And have one more amazing song for good measure:
By that way, don’t forget to see how Bret Weinstein was censored on YouTube (what a travesty!!!!!!!! DDDD:):