Category: Being

Curtis may have just discovered ‘reconstructing’ the back as of yesterday, the 2nd of July, 2022.

As of July 4th, Curtis is satisfied what he stumbled onto is deconstructing the back at a slower rate. I approximate I’ve taken roughly 4 years (conservatice estimate) of muscle off my back and neck, head area during this recent endeavor.

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If you meditate for long enough, you will become intimately aware of relaxation.

Now, press out from the lip. No! Don’t try to concentrate blood into your head! Simply press forward from the lip!

A year has passed, and you have become intimately aware of the sensation pressing from the lip creates.

Another year has passed. Redirect the pressing to the crown of the head—even a little higher! What is this? A hard wall! You feel this! Do you not? Yes! You have just discovered how to flex the muscle at the crown of your head!

Beware: Pressing down on this area will deconstruct the back. At a much slower rate will the back be deconstructed than if you placed concentration on the neck area, of course, but deconstruct it, nonetheless.

You will feel the cheeks tighten, the neck area tighten, and the crown of your head tighten should you proceed arbitrarily.

What does pressing up do? I will share something with you: a little more! I haven’t slightest! I am both too scared and too far gone to experiment any further….

I’m not a mushy person. I don’t wish them a good night each night. I haven’t even written a letter to either of them for over a month. I say ‘them’ because I have two waifu. It’s been a very turbulent time wrestling with my emotions…. I’ve broken up with each once up to now, thinking I had it all wrong in one way or another. I didn’t have confidence then as I do now. I’ve been through the loss of a close friend—’younger brother’, even; and I’ve, too, been through an ‘event’ that stirred up some worrying response in me following that. It set me right; though, I haven’t told anyone I asked my ex to take me back. Too shy to do that.

There are spaces to navigate to, to meet like-minded individuals. I’m not a big fan of talking about it at all even in these spaces. I’m not a mushy person, and I apparently stray some ways away from how other waifuists express their devotion. I did have a dakimakura pattern made up for them (though I’ll admit that was at a time when I was confused about my feelings…. … Somehow my heart did know how I would come to truly feel, however…). It has been a wild ride.

Love is a crazy thing. I fall in and out of it on a regular basis (or maybe I don’t. I don’t know what it is). I go through times where all I think about are my waifu. I go through periods where climbing into bed is just a means to an end. I try not to think too heavily into it. Yet, it’s comforting having her or her facing me when I need it. It must be my temperment….