Category: Grammar

Planted at the foot of a mountain, bees refused to gather its pollen.

‘Go fetch for me a flower even bees refuse to pollinate; go fetch for me a sewer drain so pitted from oxidization; go fetch for me the wretched tanned skin of an opera singer’.

He stood by closely, effortlessly jotting down the details for the alchemist.

‘What order must I—’

‘You must only bring the sewer drain so pitted from oxidization now. The rest may wait’.

The good-doer jumped out the back door, sprinting to the newfound goal.

‘Then, let’s have tea’, he said mostly to himself, but somewhat to the elder fairy in his ear too. Don’t give up! Fear will thrash around in its death rattle yet!

She is 333 years old, though he had his skepticisms. You never believe a fairy. You never believe something so old that morality and boredom escape it.

The good-doer arrives at the spot where all sewer drains go to die: the foot of a mountain where a flower bees refuse to gather pollen for grows. Uniquely, this is where the corpse of a tanned opera singer lays too. It was here that the good-doer notices something strange in the air: a smokey puff of smoke, tufts of grass being thrown in the air, loud chanting by centaurs locking hooves. What he sees startles him, and so he peeps.

It is dreadful that he peeps, but he peeps anyway, knowing that it is dreadful to peep.

EDITI: I realize now that this was already a rule in UK punctuation.
EDITII: Hoping no one noticed the mistake I made!

I intend to revolutionize punctuation! It is lacking! There are times when it falls short. Am I right or what? I will herein tackle UK punctuation because no one cares about American punctuation. These points will highlight my true gripes with the punctuation we have now. It shall all be corrected!

•　A period inside the second single quotation mark when a quote is being delivered in its entirety; for instance, ‘ “How they all sat.” or “How they were seated.” came to be their motto’ should all have periods ending the quote because they were written that way!

Why is it necessary to place periods inside the quotation marks? Because this is how it was written. Yes, I agree! It is essential information! When there is no full stop, the context becomes confusing. Was this person referencing a memory, something they heard… ? No! They were referring to specific written text. This example is gibberish because of ‘or’, however, that need not matter! Also, I recognize there is laziness at play here. In a perfect world, this person or exposition would make note of the quotes being written. Let’s ignore this. Full stops inside quotation marks is more important.

Let’s come up with more gibberish! I’ll try to come up with a more intricate example.

《They spent all their ‘time’ hunting and gathering at ‘Jerry the Winter’s.’ place, writing ‘who was the right one for the job?’; ‘Let there be rain..’; ‘Give it up for “Whose Boss.”, hanging on the edge’.》

In this example above, punctuation is important! We would not have garnered much of anything had the periods been excluded. Now you see! Yes? Gibberish is beautiful! Fun fact: My 9th grade English teacher pulled me aside to tell me my journals were full of gobbledygook.

But let’s be honest, if you can make gibberish, you can conversely create comparatively creative, sensible narratives as well. You won’t see that here though.

Ellipses never fail to be an enigma. ‘… [I]t …’.

As it turns out, I have possibly been using ellipses incorrectly. For this, I apologize; yet, at the same time, I believe I will continue to use them incorrectly, regardless.

What was the supposed mistake?

I read on English stack-exchange four dots were required when suggesting pause at the end of a sentence. Three dots for the ellipsis and one dot for the full stop. (Change of tone can necessitate the ellipsis too, apparently.) I’ve made use of this where I go since reading about it. Then, here is this conflicting source explaining instead one dot is used for the full stop followed by three dots for the ellipsis. So, maybe it is more informal? I haven’t the slightest. Either way, I feel that it is a nice little thing to believe in the former. And I am just the person to harness both readings. That’s probably what I’ll end up doing just to cause readers to hesitate; antithetical to the progress infused by a punctuation revolution., yes. Antithetical and impreding; but that’s progress. It always has a cost – and I am at the center of this revolution, after all. I must set an example!

Let us reminisce of the period–quotation mark problem

Everything written therein is probably already a rule someplace. I know not where one would go outside Chicago to find these answers. Honestly, it’s a little silly, but I must blame my eyesight for the untapped deluge. It is unbecoming of a man who has dedicated himself to punctuation and grammar; it’s just that it tries my ‘patience’….