Life

Life is fucked up when you find someone you can be so close to, and everything feels so right, but then, you fuck it up.

Now, I know I’m a little more neurotic than your average male, and I’d been through some rough patches in the past, but this takes the cake.

I’m trying to keep it together.

I really am.

The thought of just killing myself did come across me a few times, yet somehow I keep going with this feeling so heavy on my spirit.

I wish I were gay or female or some shit so bad right now.

It’s so unfair to have the purest love for my best friend, and yet, still have crossed that line that you don’t cross.

I hate it so much.

I hate myself.

I fucking hate.

Let me drown myself in this music, and maybe I’ll have a chance to come out stronger.

Strong enough to accept things can never go back to the way they were.

But for fuck’s sake!

How many times will I have it all?

It’s not my intent to break her and her boyfriend up.

Sincerely, I think they are a cute couple, and guy, there, is great to her!

All I know is she didn’t want a hug today – to give her a good feeling towards some of the shit she has to deal with.

I’m trying to prepare myself for being a lonely man again.

I really don’t want to have to go back to being a lonely man.